Fables of a Chicken
by Deleted05
Summary: Little stories that I wrote while playing the game. Could be taken as one long story. Chronically not in order. Sarcasm can sometimes abound.
1. This Is Dull

AN: Just a really short oneshot based on something that happened to me while playing Fable. It was so strange I had to write it out, and how the people might have reacted in the game.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fable.

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><p>"This is dull." The Hero known as Chicken Chaser turned to stare at the woman in incredulity as she stared around the dark room in boredom. "Can we go to the inn?"<p>

"Does she realise where she is?" One of the praying acolytes whispered to him, and Chicken Chaser turned.

"I don't think so." He whispered back.

"Do you like my hair?" She asked, again, and Chicken Chaser sighed.

"Yes, it's lovely." He muttered. Behind him the junior acolyte snickered, and he glared at the younger man.

"Why did you bring _her_?" The senior acolyte whispered as she hummed a tuneless song to herself. Chicken Chaser stared at her before answering.

"She was easy to seduce. I stole her away from her husband." He admitted. "How long until midnight?"

"Thirteen hours."

"Shit."

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><p>"It is midnight. Do you wish to sacrifice her now?" The acolyte asked, and Chicken Chaser nodded fervently.<p>

"Please! She's been saying the same things over and over and _over_! Take her!" He pushed her towards the man, ignoring her squawk of indignation. The acolyte turned to the bloody altar and started praying, and Chicken Chaser heaved a sigh of release as the annoying woman was lifted up into the air.

The woman in question looked around herself curiously until she was hovering above the altar, where she started to scream in pain. Chicken Chaser watched eagerly until she had disappeared, then looked around.

"He says this was a pathetic sacrifice." The acolyte muttered, and Chicken Chaser's jaw dropped.

"What?" He demanded, before turning to the altar and shaking his fist. "Do you know how painful it was to bring that woman through Darkwood, and then listen to her inane comments for eighteen hours? Skorm, you bastard, just give me your bow already!"

A deep, rasping chuckle filled the dark temple, echoing eerily in its obvious enjoyment. The acolytes both cowered and trembled as the voice of their God surrounded them, but Chicken Chaser merely grumbled.

He turned on his heel and stomped his way out of the temple, muttering under his breath as Skorm's laughter followed him. "Maybe Avo would be the better choice…"


	2. Locked In

AN: Another short oneshot. It's always annoyed me how the Guildmaster so _kindly_ says 'you can come out now' after you defeat the beetles. I even had a conversation with my dad about how evil the Heroes Guild was, and how they lost ninety percent of their potential recruits to beetle attacks on the first day.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fable.

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><p>"This will be a good opportunity to test your spirit. I'll wait for you at the entrance to the Guild Woods while you deal with the problem." The Guildmaster pushed the boy through the archway connecting the Heroes Guild with the Woods, and waved when he looked back. "Off you trot, then!"<p>

He nervously gulped, tightened his grip on the stout stick the old man had given him, and strode forward, following the pathway deeper into the Woods.

He found the beetles easily enough, and they were killed with only one hit each, making the boy feel extremely proud of himself. If his parents could see him now, learning to be a Hero just like his mum!

"Well done, lad. The Beetles are all dead." The Guildmaster's voice rang throughout the clearing, making the boy jump in fright. "You can come out of the Woods now."

The boy felt his stomach drop like an iron weight. 'You can come out of the woods now?' Had he been _locked_ in here? Alone? It was full of beetles and who knows what other dastardly creatures! How _could_ they?

He looked around himself at the slowly encroaching shadows and quickly ran out of the scary Woods as fast as his short legs would carry him. The Guildmaster greeted him with a kind smile and the promise of training, but he knew not to trust him now. What kind of man would lock an untrained boy in the dangerous woods alone when night was approaching, anyway?

And so it was with a leery attitude and a suspicious eye on _everybody_ that inhabited the Guild that the boy, soon to be known as 'Chicken Chaser', finished his Hero training.

But between that first day in the Guild and the final test against Maze, not once did he step foot in the Guild Woods.


	3. Will Test

AN: It's always so annoying when something _other_ than the dummies catches your Hero's attention, because your magic just refuses to behave then. On another note, what's the most amount of times you've hit the dummies with lightning? And what's the highest score you've ever gotten in the archery test? I myself have (only once) hit the dummies 24 times (yay me!), and gotten a whopping 384 points in the archery test (again, only once). I was so proud…

Disclaimer: I don't own Fable.

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><p>"You got 30 seconds to hit as many target as possible, starting when you first cast lighting." The magic instructor explained, and he nodded in acknowledgement.<p>

Quickly walking out into the middle of the small island, he rubbed his hands together before charging the lightning in his hands and releasing it, striking the straw dummy right on target. It bounced and turned around even as he struck the next one, and the one after.

He had hit the dummies about five times, when suddenly his lightning veered off, attacking something else. He quickly looked over, and saw a cowering apprentice who had gotten too close. Taking a few steps forwards, he struck the dummy again.

His lightning veered off once more, and he nearly growled as _more _apprentices converged on his location.

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><p>He'd finally done it. Thirteen tries, and he had finally, <em>finally<em>, been able to complete his Will test without interference from _anyone_. It probably helped that quite a few of the apprentices and servants that had come too close ended up walking away looking quite scorched, with muscle spasms and burn marks.

The instructor looked relieved as well. "I don't know _what _was so interesting about your performance, but _bloody hell_! When you don't have any distractions, you can really cast magic! A+!"

He merely scowled at him and returned to his dormitory, silently promising himself that he would wake up at dawn to hang out with Whisper in the Guild Woods.

Up by the gateway, Whisper shivered in the cool night air. She was waiting for her friend, and she was going to stay here until he arrived, damn it, because they were going to go beetle hunting together.


End file.
